I realised I was gay 10 years ago but my friends and family still don’t know

DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S been ten years since I worked out I was gay, yet I still haven’t told my friends and family the truth.

I’m now 26.


I’m sick of having to hide such a big part of my identity from those I love

My mum and dad were both brought up by very strict, Christian parents, and while they don’t agree with all my grandparents’ beliefs, they do when it comes to sexuality.

They see being gay or bisexual as “unnatural” and “wrong”.

I’ve heard my dad say the nastiest things about gay celebrities.

To avoid the same abuse coming my way, I’ve always kept my sexuality a secret.

I haven’t even told my friends in case it gets back to my parents.

Get in touch with Deidre

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

But I’m sick of having to hide such a big part of my identity from those I love.

Is there a way of telling them that won’t lead to a massive fallout and end in me being disowned?

DEIDRE SAYS: Coming out as either gay or bisexual takes a lot of courage, but can only be done when you are ready.

When you feel able to talk to your loved ones, remember to give them time to adjust to your news.

After all, you’ve had years to come to terms with your sexuality, they also need to adjust.

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You can reassure them you are still exactly the same person they have always loved.

Please get in touch with Switchboard LGBT+ (, 0300 330 0630) which can support you. It also has online tips on coming out.

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